Out of the Sky
by TallerThanThou ShorterThanThou
Summary: Is it just me, or is there something wrong with life here? I die, and then I'm suddenly alive again and then of course there's an and then I am somehow, possibly, probably going insane...and this, of course, is all that idiot Strawberry's fault.
1. Reincarnation

Have you ever had that dream? When you were falling in a pit of blackness that wasn't matter, when something, no nothing, could never pull you out? That was what dying felt like. Izumi Rei was sucked down a vacuum of compressed time, an endless rabbit hole with no outrageous junk.

All pain from the accident had vanished, leaving me with emptiness. Heck, I'd think I'll take the pain back. But I couldn't. Instead, I kept falling. It wasn't like the dream; when you hit rock bottom, you woke up drenched in sweat. No. When I hit rock bottom, or should I say, the troposphere of my personal hell, feeling returned to me like a rubber band.

I looked down. 2000 km to go. Now, 1500. My fall picked up pace, and I could no longer identify the masses of white whizzing past me. Before I'd even had time to hate life for the incredulity of making me go through dying _twice_, my fall stopped. The last image I had was of orange.

Beep.

Shut up.

Beep.

I SAID shut up.

Beep.

Blearily, I opened my eyes. Too bright. I closed them again. Then, with a rush of realization, I opened them again. I was alive. Alive and in a hospital that could be anywhere. As my eyes adjusted, I tested myself for injuries. None. Whoever had the misfortune of catching me had obviously been careful. So far so good. Then there was the matter of my falling for no apparent reason other than the crash. After you died, you just got judged and sent to Heaven or Hell, right? Well, apparently, that rule did not seem to apply to me. Life had other plans for its number 1 disciple.

By now, I'd established the annoying beeping as a heart monitor. I looked around the room. An IV was attached to the crook of my elbow. Wincing, I pulled it out. Even now, I could hear Hitomi screaming at me not to. 'YOU HAVE NO CERTIFIED MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE!' is an extract from one of her long rants. But I couldn't think of that now—it'd just depress me, not knowing where I was and all. It was then I noticed the odd quality of my hand.

The skin tone was right but…I couldn't place it. There was just something _off_. Something I had a feeling I wouldn't like. A sudden feeling of panic gripped me. Okay, calm down. You were fine when you were falling, and now, because of a measly skin problem (with my luck, it will be cancer), you are hyperventilating. So I took a few deep breaths, and looked at myself in the mirror of the adjoining bathroom. My first thought was on the clean facilities and convenience. My second thought was on the niceness of said hospital. And my third thought…

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

I'd been cartoon-ified, every square inch of me. Not that the makeover wasn't welcome; I wasn't what you'd call eye candy. Especially with my freckles. I _hated_ my freckles. However, that meant that I'm stuck here. Therefore the screaming. Wouldn't you scream too, if you could never tease your annoyingly adorable little brother again? That's what I thought.

Just as I thought things couldn't get any worse, they did. Because my personal hell just walked in.

Not that I _knew_ about it then. All I knew then was that a carrot had just visited my hospital room. And then he opened his mouth.

"You're _finally_ awake…wimp."

A/N: Re-write because someone *cough demon-pixie cough* messed it up! Apologies to all who've stuck with it.

Parody Thingy:

Carrot: How long do you plan to call me this? Everyone knows who I am anyways.

Pie: Oh hush you meanikins. You shall be known by your name when your hair is long again. It was so pretty long…WHY DID YOU CUT IT? *emosob*

Demon-Pixie:…

Carrot:…

Rei: Hm…what was that word for it again…?

Pie: And you better become a Shinigami again so we IchiRuki fans can get our happy ending!

Carrot:…if you like IchiRuki so much then why did you decide to write an OC?

Demon-Pixie: Because we thought there were too many Mary-Sue ficlets out there.

Rei: This feeling…

Carrot: *leans closer* What?

Rei: ANNOYANCE!

All: leans away and cultivates mushrooms


	2. Living Nightmare

Orange hair, amber eyes. The dude was definitely weird-looking—was he even Japanese? For a moment, I was too busy ogling to realize he had called me a wimp.

"Excuse me," I said pleasantly, "but I believe you've just called me a wimp."

Carrot-boy nodded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"And you'd better explain how you managed to fall out of nowhere."

Oh great. This would be tough. Hey dude I don't know—I died. I fucking died and fell into what is probably an alternate universe that I have no clue about. The situation was actually very funny—or it would have been if this was a show. I shuddered. Maybe this was a show. Knowing my luck, it was a very popular show, and the viewers were now watching me make a fool of myself in front of Carrot-boy. Instinctively, I fiddled with the hem of my hospital gown.

"I-I…don't know." I phrased the sentence like a question. How good am I at lying? Not very. Stupid little me had no talent in anything but running, something I was tempted to do right now. Luckily, Carrot-boy seemed to be even dumber than me, because he bought it.

"'Kay then," he said. "I'm Kurosaki Ichigo. What's your name?"

The name rang a bell somewhere, but it shouldn't have. Where did I hear it before? As far as I knew, I'd never be associated with hoods who bleached their hair. Kurosaki Ichigo scowled at me and I realized I hadn't answered.

"Izumi Rei."

A terse silence followed in which the strange boy's eyes seemed to be trying to dig up my memory through sheer willpower. Finally, he slumped, bored and pushed a button on the remote on the side of my bed. Maybe it was a bomb, I thought. Kurosaki had gotten fed up with the lack of information and decided that I would be a threat to the mafia he secretly worked for. Or maybe the Japanese Mafia decided that it would be fun to randomly blow up hospitals.

"I am NOT in the Japanese Mafia!"

Oops. Had I been thinking out loud?

"Yes," Kurosaki sighed.

"Eh, sorry."

Another silence followed.

"!" A black haired man in a doctor's uniform flew towards him, attempting to land a blow to the boy's head. Kurosaki dodged and sent the man through the window.

"Uh," I stated intelligently.

"What?" Kurosaki demanded. The man lied on the grass lifelessly. All of a sudden, he bounced up.

"MY SON! YOU'VE MANAGED TO DODGE DADDY'S FLYING MULE KICK! DADDY IS SO PROUD OF YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

I stared at Kurosaki, dumfounded. He had kicked his father out the window. I was standing in a hospital room with him. Slowly, I retreated away from said window. Who knew if he would kick me out next?

"Ah, young lady, I see you are awake! Please bear my Ichigo lots of grandbabies!"

"G-g-grandbabies?" I squeaked. Wow, my voice sure could go high...

"Yes, gradbabies," the man proclaimed proudly, "I've even started on the Baby-Making Chart."

That was all I could take without snapping. My eyes narrowed to slits and I scanned the room for throw-able objects. Kurosaki eyed me warily. Picking up the alarm clock, I threw it at the bouncing man as hard as I could. Kurosaki peered out the window.

"I think you killed him."

Great—my first day in an alternate universe, and I was charged for murder.

A/N: Once again, Demon-Pixie had the bright idea of almost ruining my plotline (glares). Fortunately, not too hard to fix. Ish.

Parody Thingy: An Interview with the Ichiberry

Pie: So, Ichi-berry, what do you think of dear Rei?

Ichigo: She needs to die.

Pie:…blunt…

Ichigo: It's my specialty.

Pie: Er, anyways, I don't think now's a good time to mention that you will probably fall irrevocably in love with her?

Demon-Pixie:...don't quote Twilight…it's creepy.

Ichigo: _Probably?_ You're shittin' me right? 'Cause I ain't gonna buy it!

Rei: Um…hang on a second here…

Ichigo: Izumi, you agree with me on this, don't you?

Rei: Well, actually, you know, you are pretty hot…

Pie: You could have billions of half black hair, half orange haired children, and they'd all be super violent.

Demon-Pixie: Don't forget freckles! They'd all be freakishly tall and have amber and aqua eyes, probably mismatched. We'd have to evacuate Karakura due to supreme violence.

Rei: Sounds fun!

Ichigo: !

At 5 in the morning, the Kurosaki household was awoken by the above loud scream. When asked about it by Rei, Ichigo shuddered and turned a nasty shade of green.


	3. Porcelain Cuts, AreNotAreNot, Home

The table took turns staring at me. I tried very, very hard not to stare back and concentrated on picking my baked potato into tiny equal sized pieces. For some reason, the one on the left always looked bigger than the one on the right. Frustrated with the lack of progress, I stabbed at it viciously with my fork and sent it careening into Kurosaki's head. Said boy turned from his potatoes and gave me a death glare.

Gosh you are scary, stupid carrot-boy. You make me quiver in my UGGs.

Furious that I failed to produce a comeback glare in time, I proceeded to shovel the tiny pieces of potato into my mouth.

"So," Yuzu said shyly. I looked up from my food, cheeks puffed up from excessive stuffing.

"Yef?" I answered, the sound muffled by potatoes. Damned root.

"Don't talk with your mouth open," Kurosaki mumbled sarcastically. Oh that was it! I swallowed the wad of creamy potatoes and stood up, the stool on which I was sitting tipping over at the violent movement.

"Yes _mother_," I said. There was a flash of something unidentifiable in Kurosaki's eyes before his hands unclenched and he threw a glop of buttered mashed potato at me. I decided to give him five seconds to reconsider.

5

Kurosaki glared relentlessly and I glared back.

4

Silently, I contemplated what I should throw at him. I scanned the table for objects before selecting one of the apples sitting in the middle of the table and tossing it from hand to hand.

3

Aw, fuck it all. The damned Strawberry was tempting me.

I threw the apple. And, as always, something went wrong. Said apple bounced off Kurosaki's head and hit a plate. Being made of china, the plate broke easily. Yuzu stood up, her arms shaking. A murderous aura seeped from her body, and I cowered.

"Clean. It. Up."

Ten minutes later, Kurosaki and I are both kneeling on the floor, searching for traces of the intricately—or used to be intricate—molded plate. Without Yuzu to watch us like an overbearing mother hen, we exchanged insults at leisure.

"Faggot," I hissed as I scooped up another shard.

"Dumbass," Kurosaki spat as he chucked a rather large piece into the trashcan.

Oh, I did forget to mention something—the Kurosakis were lacking a broomstick. Lovely. This meant that Kurosaki and I were stuck doing it by hand. With my luck, I'd get cut—

Oppsies. Looks like I jinxed myself. Right as the thought popped into my head, my hand slipped and a shallow—from what I could tell—but profusely bleeding cut appeared on my right index finger.

"Stupid fucking bastard! Damned little piece of shit!" I cursed. Across the room, Kurosaki looked up, eyes blazing. He probably thought I was talking to him. Ignoring him, I picked up the now bloody shard and threw it as hard as I could. It made a satisfyingly loud clink as it hit the bottom of the trash can, and I wrapped my wind breaker around my hand.

I had the pleasure of seeing a shocked look cross Kurosaki's face (like "what the crap you nitwit? How dumb can you get?") Before he blinked and an almost doctor-like attitude crossed his expression.

"Wash it in the sink. I'll go get the peroxide and bandages."

Ugh. _Peroxide_. Was the idiot trying to kill me? Did he know how much it _stings_? He must have known, because when he came back, underneath the calm exterior of a future doctor, he had a trace of unholy satisfaction at the pain to come.

"Come on, hold it out."

I gave the bottle of doom one look. Nuh uh. Not happening. Backing away slowly, I looked for anything that would save me.

"It's gonna get infected!"

"Yeah well, who threw the food first?"

"Real _mature_, Izumi. Guilt trips? What is this, fifth grade?"

"Yeah! Your mentality level is one on par with fifth grade!"

"How much are ya willing to bet?"

"One million yen!"

"Well yours is on the level of a two year old!"

"Yeah? Well fine! Better a two year old than a _carrot_! At least I have _some_ brain activity!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"NOT!"

"ARE!"

"SHUT UP!" Karin bellowed. We shut up.

God, I'd sunk to the level of 'are, not, are, not' arguments. It was rather pathetic. And if I were at home, I bet that…I really shouldn't finish that thought because then I'd think about my annoying kid brother and my best friend who happened to be going through an emotional crisis at the moment and my mom who's going to suffer through the anniversary of her divorce alone and…

Yeah. A huge lump chocked me and I wondered if I'd developed a tumor there or something.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a tiny piece of porcelain. I bent over to pick it up and then I…I think I blanked out or something because the next thing I knew, something fuzzy and orange (my vision was kind of hazy) had plopped down next to me.

"You alright?"

I snapped, trying to cover up that moment of weakness.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Damned midget," Kurosaki muttered darkly. I managed to hear it anyways.

"MIDGET? WELL _EXCUSE_ ME FOR BEING THREE INCHES SHORTER THAN YOU, YOU DAMNED BOY-ON-PEDS!"

"_PEDS_? JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE SHORT AND YOU DON'T WANT TO ADMIT IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M ON FREAKING _PEDS_!"

"WELL JUST 'CAUSE YOU ARE ON PEDS AND YOU DON'T WANT TO ADMIT IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN GO AROUND BLAMING SOMEONE TALLER THAN AVERAGE (I'm 5'6", damn it!) OF YOUR DRUG ADDICTION!"

"JUST BECAUSE—"

"I _SAID_ SHUT IT!" Karin roared. We jumped about five feet in the air.

"Good. NOW FINISH CLEANING!"

And that's when my hand started squirting blood. The two siblings glared at me, furious with me for forgetting. Holding my breath, I looked.

To say it was deeper than I thought it was an understatement.

"Erm, it's just a flesh wound?" I said nervously.

"FLESH WOUND?" both siblings screamed simultaneously.

I don't know about you, but I'm starting to think that the whole Kurosaki family was whackos.

But it couldn't be too bad right? I mean, I'd _have_ to get sent back eventually, right? Right? I could so totally deal with this until then.

Oh, how blissfully innocent I was back then.

A/N: We can too write longer chapters! Take that!

Parody Thingy:

What shall happen with Rei and her squirting hand? Will she be doomed to live the life of a human blood gun?

Rei:…did you take your medication yet?

Obviously not.

Ichigo: Seriously, stop speaking to us in our minds. It's fucking creepy.

Your face is fucking creepy.

Rei:…

Ichigo: Ah, touché.

What a dumbass.

Ichigo: DUMBASS?

Yes. You heard me. Dumbass Strawberry.

Ichigo: MY ASS AIN'T DUMB! AND I'M NOT A STRAWBERRY!

You are a strawberry. Your ass is dumb.

Ichigo: Izumi, you're not gonna—

Rei: Sorry, Kurosaki. But they're right.

What did I tell you…Strawberry.

Ichigo: Just wait. I'll kill you.


	4. Hell

"OW GOD DAMMIT!"

Stitches. 5 stitches. Isshin (who I'd taken to calling Goat-Chin as Karin does) at least had the decency to ask me what color thread I would like. Kurosaki, however…well, that was an entirely different story.

The meeting (Yuzu calls it a meeting, I call it hell) went something like this:

I winced every time the needle threaded through my skin. And they'd put god-damned peroxide on—_peroxide_. Actually, Kurosaki had poured the peroxide on; an unholy smirk on his face as he gave me what I was sure was an overdose. Damned Carrot. Speaking of…

"Stop whining already. It was your fault you cut yourself."

Oh, haha, rub salt in the wound, why don'cha? I felt like punching him, but my right hook was at the moment, unusable, and well, unless I wanted to cause myself more pain than I was in now—you get the point. Anyways, I glared at him, which should make him scared, not smirk.

"And it was you who threw the food," I repeated apathetically. Almost robotically.

"Would you just shut up?"

I gave this a moment of consideration.

"No."

A particularly vicious jab of the needle and a round of fierce swearing later, I was all stitched up and bandaged. I didn't know whether I should rejoice or cry because I had nothing to punch the damned Carrot with anymore. My left hand was rather weak…

This brought me to where I was now, when I had forgotten that particular incapability and thought, what the hell, I can't be anymore screwed than I already am—and I went ahead and punched the damned Carrot anyways.

The result was—for lack of a better word—pathetic. Truth be told, my arms weren't really that strong to begin with, and well, with the additional injury (both figuratively and literally), the impact hurt me more than it hurt the damned Carrot, who appeared to be barely affected.

Damned Carrot.

"I heard that, you psycho!"

"I don't give a shit!"

This damned place was making me cuss a lot, more cuss words than Naoki knew, and Naoki (my little brother) knew a damn lot. And there it was again, the damn homesickness that I'd gotten used to. Sad, really. A sudden breeze made me shiver, having have had to abandon my cozy windbreaker after it got soaked with blood.

And of course—

"You have to go shopping for clothes."

Have you ever watched the judge pound the gavel to sentence some criminal to an electrocution, or perhaps more years in jail than you could possibly live? That's what I felt; drowning in a hopeless pool of misery at the fate that I could not possibly escape. Worst of all—

"It's for your own good," Yuzu intoned patiently. My brows scrunched together in what I hoped was a scary effect—but obviously not, judging from the damned Carrot laughing about my uni-brow.

"IT'S NOT FOR MY OWN GOOD, DAMMIT! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA MELT IN A WAY THAT PUTS THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST TO SHAME! I'M GONNA BE A BLOB OF JELLO—"

"Would you SHUT _UP_!" That was the uh-mazing wonder-boy Carrot (Kurosaki). And damn, my glares really _should_ make him tremble in fear, not shake in barely contained laughter. So instead of waiting for a victory (that I was robbed of), I opted for the easy way out; running. Luckily, that happened to be the one thing I was good at. Back at school, I'd been the track team's star—which was saying a lot since my school had oodles of talent.

So of course, Kurosaki couldn't catch up to me—wrong. The damned boy was slowly gaining, and once again, I felt as if I was being buried alive with a malicious hammer sealing my fate. Ah, worms, please don't eat me. But damn if I was going to submit. Hell no I was going to die in a freaking anime world! I urged my legs ever faster, and seriously? By now, I believed my speed exceeded Olympic. So, Kurosaki, you _are_ good for something.

Seeing I was _way_ ahead of him, I turned around and jeered.

"So long, slow-poke-carrot!"

Oh no. Oh _fuck_ no. Say it with me now:

I, Izumi fucking Rei, tripped. Over a microscopic chink in the armor of the glistening concrete. And—of course this happens—my jeans, my favorite pair of jeans (they hadn't come cheap you know, Abercrombies are EXPENSIVE—but the super hot half-naked eye candy dudes they have for models make up for it) ripped. So now I have two tears in the already fashionably teared jeans. I was torn between crying over my jeans and committing mass murder.

Well, at least I wasn't bleeding.

Yuzu extended her hand which I gratefully took. Testing out my knees, I found them to be in condition. After giving me a once over, Yuzu started dragging me towards—

A cloud of doom settled upon me. Somewhere in the background, the carrot laughed. Well, he laughed until Yuzu glared at him and told him he was coming along for 'male opinion.'

Hang on, let me process that.

"I'M GONNA DIE!"

A/N: Yeah, this is pretty intense.

Parody Thingy:

Yuzu: Okay, I'll take this one and this one and this one—

Rei: (mocks) and this one and this one and this one!

Yuzu: Good taste! Okay, can I get a fitting room for Rei-san?

Rei: (twitch)

Ichigo: Feh. Dumbass.

Rei: I'm going to kill you. (smiles)

Yuzu: GET ALONG!

Both: H-h-h-a-ai


	5. Weird Revibrations

Under normal circumstances, I do sort of kind of like shopping. Especially when I can have a mocha and gossiping with Natsumi. And even then, I hated the try-the-clothes-on part.

On one hand, we have an awesome best friend, and on the other hand, we have a shitty alternate _anime_ universe, for frick's sake. Wanna know which hand I got dealt?

"Feh. Still ugly."

I glared at Ichigo, because it was impossible for me to glare at someone as cute as Yuzu. I always wanted a little sister, not that annoying little brother of mine…and now I was separated from him by death and god knows what else, and I wanted him back, his nose-picking and all.

_Him_, on the other hand…what was he, a Neji Hyuuga wannabe? I gave Ichi-baka another once over. Nah. Neji was way prettier. Now that I think of it, Neji was prettier than me, and he was flipping _male_.

"Hn. Ugly."

What was it now? An Uchiha and a Sai in one go? My eyes narrowed dangerously. I swear, if looks could kill, I'd be happily eating free food at the Strawberry's funeral. A stinging pain told me my nails were starting to dig through my skin. It was time to put an end to this, once and for all. Searching around the store for lethal weapons, I found none.

Sigh. I had to resort to a duel of words, something so complicated that the Strawberry had no hope of ever keeping up with.

"You're not in a position to be talking," I said icily. Immediately, Kurosaki's head snapped up and he proceeded to engage me in a glaring match.

"What was that Izumi?" he demanded.

"Oh, I forgot," I said loftily, "simple organisms such as you cannot comprehend the finer points of human society. Very well. I will explain in simple terms so even a simpleton such as yourself can understand: you, Ichi-baka, are fugly."

Yuzu stopped picking out cute outfits and stared. The saleswoman stopped flirting with a costumer.

And then the temperature dropped twenty degrees, and I seriously reconsidered my language.

"And a faggot," I said because, well, me and my big mouth couldn't live without setting someone off.

"YOU DAMNED BITCH!" Ichigo exploded.

"SHIT-FOR-BRAINS!"

"LIKE YOU'RE IN A POSITION TO TALK!"

"DOUCHEBAG!"

"ASS-HAT!"

"VERMIN-RIDDEN CEREBRAL VAIN SMEGGING PENIS!"

It was at that point that nearby mothers began to cover their children's ears. The Ichi-baka stared blankly at me. Hehe, so he didn't know big words, did he?

"You're a cophragiac," I said confidently.

"I don't eat POO, that'd mean eating you!"

Wait, hang on…he didn't know what cerebral meant but knew a complicated medical term that I only knew because of Hitomi who was working part-time at a hospital—

Wait…oh shit. Ichi-baka _lived_ at a hospital. His freaking family ran it! Oh god, I was so dumb!

"YOU BRAINLESS—"

But I didn't get that far. Security was already heading towards us.

"Eh! Run away now, talk later. See ya, Ichi-baka!"

"YOU DAMNED MIDGET!"

That was how I found myself lost in the streets of Karakura City.

I looked around. The store to my left read 'Karakura Bookstore'. They were definitely big on naming sense. There was no clue to indicate where I was, or how to get back to Kurosaki's house. Pedestrians brushed past me at random intervals as I tried to decide what to do. Judging by the sun, it was almost 7, and Yuzu would _kill_ me for both being late for dinner, and skipping out on shopping.

Suddenly, I didn't want a little sister anymore. I to be back with my little brother and overbearing parents who spoiled me, and Hitomi and Natsumi who ranted about boys. Even Kuronuma-sensei was better with her dark atmosphere—

A piercing shriek rippled through the air. Shivers crawled up my spine gelatinously. There was something there, and that something was dangerous. But as I glanced around nervously, nothing caught my eye. The world was still as I knew it, and everywhere, little gaggles of teenagers were oohing over cute clothes. People milled around, each on their on errand.

Maybe I'd imagined it. I was the only one who had noticed—

The same shriek distorted the air in front of me, and a large ripple—like the ones from heat waves—appeared.

As soon as it did, it vanished.

A/N: I'm sure we all know what the ripple was. However, please don't be a spoilsport and go like 'well DUH it was a HOLLOW'

Parody Thingy:

Ichigo: Argh, seriously, I'm not in the Japanese Mafia!

Security Dude: B-b-but you have ORANGE hair!

Ichigo: Is there something wrong with my hair? (eyes glint dangerously)

Security Dude: No! Bleaching is very fashionable!

Ichigo: I see…

Ten minutes later

Ichigo: Well that was tiring…hey, Old Man, I'm ho—

Yuzu: (glowering) You left me, you stupid Nii-san!

Ichigo: W-wait a second—

Yuzu: Argh! You're so cold! No dinner for you!

Rei: hehe.

Yuzu: Don't laugh; you're not getting any either!

Ichigo: Ah, revenge on the witch.

Rei: Shut. The. Hell. UP!


	6. Of Ghosts and Worse than Ghosts

The town faded back into normal again just as I realized the odd quality of light that had lit it up. My eyes wide, I shakily scanned the area for the ripple again, straining my ears to hear the pained shriek. It was horrible, not knowing.

Perhaps I was finally going crazy.

"Izumi!"

Only then did I realize I had stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, and I was blocking a few exasperated mothers. In a normal situation, I would have at the very least mouthed an apology. But this wasn't normal, and I was convinced that it was evil. The THING was roaming around somewhere I couldn't sense it—of that much I was sure. As to what it was…

"Oi, don't ignore me, you damned bitch!" Kurosaki sighed. When I met his eyes, I'm not sure what he saw, because he stopped glaring immediately.

"What happened?" he asked bluntly.

Should I tell him? Would he think I was crazy? Certainly Kurosaki wasn't the sympathetic type, but that was probably why I could tell him. Maybe he'd understand and not look condescendingly on me.

"I-I think I just saw a ghost," I choked out. I couldn't meet his eyes, which was disturbing. The thought of being seen as bat-shit insane was unbearable. Because if he didn't believe this, then there was no way he'd believe I had died once.

To my surprise, he furrowed his already furrowed eyebrows even closer together so it looked like he had one mega-thin uni-brow. Wait a moment—he was serious about this!

"You mean you can see them too?"

Okay, that was not expected. So I get it that Kurosaki was borderline delinquent (I'm guessing), or maybe even a Yakuza. Seriously though; seeing ghosts? If he'd sprung that one on me fifteen minutes ago, I would have laughed in his face. Sad really, because now, I was just glad I wasn't alone in that aspect. Or maybe I was hallucinating.

"Have you ever seen—_felt_ that it was going to tear you to pieces?"

Oh god, I did not say that. Talk about melodramatic! The job of that was usually left to—but I couldn't think about that now; there was a grave discussion going on. Kurosaki was looking at me oddly.

"Let's go home," he said finally.

If I knew then what was going to happen, I'd have stayed on the sidewalk.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Dinner was as loud as usual. Goat-Chin and Kurosaki got in some weird fight over being out after curfew as Karin, Yuzu, and I enjoyed a good dinner of miso ramen. Karin was pointing out to me that fighting was the only time those two looked alike when it struck.

"Oh, by the way, Izumi-chan, you need to go shopping for school. I've even entered you in the same class Ichigo's in!"

Of course, I knew school hadn't started yet, but I'd never thought I'd have to go, not in an alternate universe, and especially not as a cartoon. For one insane moment, I had an urge to strangle the damned Goat-Chin. In that crazy moment, I hated him so much that what I felt towards Kurosaki could be classified as _friendship_.

"_Hell_ no," I objected at the same time as said Kurosaki. I really hate that dude. But of course, he was siding with me so I didn't care.

"Do you know what rumors would spread? Are you _insane_, old man?" Kurosaki clarified. Trying my best not to look indignant (so THAT'S why you're refusing, you damned selfish _carrot_) I nodded along.

On the side, the Goat-Chin muttered, "but she could pretend to be your cousin living with us." But he was ignored so he doesn't matter.

"Yeah, and plus, I get enough of that Strawberry already. Can't I have a break from him?" I whined. The Strawberry glared at me.

"Are you forgetting who saved your ass from that ghost? And do you _think_ I want to be next to _you_?"

"As far as I recall, the ghost left before you came. So therefore, you didn't save me from it," I pouted. So unfair, bringing the ghost/thing up.

"'Cause you scared it away with your face," Kurosaki muttered. Oh no, he did NOT go there.

"ARE YOU CALLING ME UGLY, ICHI-BAKA?"

"HELL YES I AM!"

"TAKEN A LOOK IN THE MIRROR LATELY?"

"OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVEN'T SINCE IT'S NOT BROKEN!"

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU AVOID THEM!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE AVOIDING THEM, BITCH!"

"FUGLY! FUGLY! FUGLY!"

30 minutes later…

Kurosaki and I stood across the room from each other, both gasping for air. Most of that last thirty minutes was spent in our most intense shouting match yet. My eyes narrowed at his I'm-on-peds form. He must have had no clue how much I wanted to kill him. By then, even Karin didn't dare interfere in our fight.

I'm sure we were both on the verge of collapsing and begging for a glass of cold water to soothe our vocal chords, but somehow, the Ichi-baka was still hanging on. And of course, I refuse to give in before him. Actually, I'm not gonna give in at all. A spasm in my right eye informed me I was about to loose the staring match. Stubbornly, I held my eyes open and rejected the idea of blinking. Who needed to blink? Certainly not me…hahaha.

"Is it just me or is that lightening between them?" Yuzu whispered fearfully. I can create lightening? So cool. As if sensing what I was thinking (so _not _cool. Actually, that's creepy), Kurosaki's glare intensified. Not to be outmatched, I narrowed my eyes even further. They probably looked like snake eyes by now. _So_ cool.

Speaking of, Orochimaru. He's such a creep. The whole time I was reading Naruto, he was my least favorite character. I used to hope that he got killed in the most painful way possible ('cause pedos are just damn creepy) until he got killed by Sasuke. Spoiler.

You know, now that I think about it, people from the same manga always look alike. Like have you realized that if Sakura dyed her hair black and put in contacts, she'd look like Sasuke? Or if the author of Vampire Knight stopped coloring in Kaname's hair, you'd never be able to tell him apart from Zero?

My eyes watered as I entertained myself with thoughts about various mangas. They were really starting to sting from the strain of keeping them open so long.

"M-m-masaki!" Goat-Chin cried. Pain built up in my eyes as the room blurred. Was this how it felt to go blind?

There was a thud somewhere as the world gradually faded out.

"I think she fell asleep," someone said. They're voice sounded nice…oh, was that pop a sweatdrop? Meh, too tired to care…

A/N: As you can tell, the plot's finally arriving!

Parody Thingy:

Yuzu: Awww, how cute! She fell asleep staring at him.

Ichigo: Cute? That vicious bitch? You've got to be kidding.

Yuzu: Brother! That is cruel. You're jealous that she's paying more attention to food than you.

Karin: Meh. Ichi-nii will never be able to get up the courage. Besides, it's not really that impressive as it would be if he brought back a girl of Orihime's class.

Yuzu: Shun the Ichihime shipper! _Shuuuuuunnnnnn_

Karin: That was a joke Yuzu.

Ichigo: STOP DISCUSSING MY LOVE LIFE ALREADY!

Pie: But the lack of it is rather interesting, dear Strawberry-kun. Are you sure you're not playing for the other team?

Demon-Pixie: Yeah, Strawberry-kun. It's rather unusual. Ah, poor Rei-chan, finding out she's been used as a pretext to hide Ichigo's homosexuality!

Ichigo: SHUT. THE. HELL. UP!


End file.
